Love yourself - The "True" self care essentials in life.

(DISCLAIMER: gifs will be used in this because they make me happy.)

Hi friends! I've been struggling on what to write for July's blog and today it all just clicked.


We live in a society where a light is shined upon loving ourselves and self care (which is AHH-maze-innnnng!). The last six months were extremely hard for me to love myself appearance wise, flaw wise, personally, etc. Basically everything that had to do with myself, was hard to love. I'm not sure how else to explain it.

I don't know about you but I'm way too critical on myself in every situation. It can be a strength, but it's also my weakness. Who else can relate? It's great that society today to a certain extent is all about loving ourselves and teaches many generations the little things we can do to take care of ourself. Unfortunately, our society still has a perfectionism side to it all. 

As a human being, we try to live up to the pictures we see on Instagram, Facebook, Tumblr, in Magazines or even in person.







We've all done it -- whether we are a male or female. 

What we have to remember is that.. it's not just a girl thing. It's not just a guy thing.
Comparison has no gender. Insecurities has no gender. Fear has no gender.

Over the past month of July, I told myself I'm going to learn how to love myself and started a study by one of my favorite authors, Hannah Brencher. It started off by reading one of her books called "Come Matter Here."


We are so focused on success, how we gain that success and the image we portray of ourselves to the world. Really what we want is to have purpose, to truly "matter." 


After reading this book, it helped me see from so many different perspectives. Hannah's perspective, those she's encountered perspective and my personal perspective. I saw she gave away a free bible 15 session study -- Of course we all jump at anything that is FREE and I thought, why not try out?
Man, this study wrecked me. She shared in the beginning that it would change me if I allowed it to, so I prayed for change and boy did I fear what was going to change.





Why do we fear change? Because we're comfortable where we are. Yet...I wasn't too comfortable where I was and still feared it. I feared it because I was nervous what I loved may be taken away but in reality, my heart's desires changed through this study. This change was for the better. I learned so much and gained a friend who I would meet up with at least once a week while going through this study to gain each others perspectives about what we read and how we can better ourselves through this. The funny part is.... This girl is my ex's ex, whom I'd never had imagined we'd be friends one day. No hard feelings or anything, we just didn't picture it. If you think God doesn't have a sense of humor, you're wrong! Because this definitely made us giggle.


Today's blog post goes out to three people. Hannah Brencher (Of course), Stephanie Fusco and all of you out there who feel the need to live up to society. Let's overcome these overly perfect standards our society has and conquer with power and courage the society that talks about loving ourselves for who we are, flaws included.

There are THREE essential things to remember while learning to love yourself. 





1.  "When you love someone, you act to show them." - Hannah Brencher

I know we're talking about loving ourselves right now, but this quote works in a different way than you may have first perceived it as. When we love others, we show them by our actions. What actions are you making to show yourself love? Are you telling yourself how good you are doing while succeeding in good things or are you shaming yourself for all that you've done wrong? There's a fine line between improving yourself and shaming yourself. 

2. "Preach to yourself, the way you would preach to someone else in the same situation as you."

I WISH I came up with this quote but I'm thankful for the beautiful and intelligent Stephanie Fusco for empowering me with this today. We all have great advice to share with our friends or family  when they're in need, but when we are actually in need of advice, we can't follow our own? That's when the whole quote "It's easier said than done" falls into place. Although it may be easier said than done, we need to live by this. We need to write down the advice we'd give someone else and constantly go over it and remind ourselves to practice, what we preach.

3. "Be your own critic, not your own's worst critic." 

This quote is my own! I've always said to others how I'm my own worst critic. It's so true and I've said it because I felt the need to have high expectations of myself that met societies expectations. Instead of learning from my mistakes, I beat myself up about my mistakes. I've tore down my self-esteem in the workplace, family relationships, relationships in general, goals, etc. This past month has taught me to critique what I have done wrong and learn from it, but to not kill myself over it. It has showed me to always move onto the next day and start new, remembering what to change. 

For all of those who beat themselves up like I do, 

Some advice for you in the words of Stephanie Fusco, "People who are most compassionate to others are usually the least compassionate towards themselves." Weird, right? I was sharing how I felt to Steph and this was her response. Mind. Blown.  I have always felt that we need to give others the benefit of the doubt, understand where many are coming from even if we don't agree with them, and that's when it hit me. How can I be so compassionate to others when I'm not towards myself? I go back to being my own self's worst critic. That's where I need to stop and have compassion for myself. We are only human, and sometimes I need that reminder too. 


We have the power to go out and change the world around us. We can't do that if we first, don't love ourselves. I hope you can learn and grow from Fearless Movement's July Blog. We need to stop fearing what others view us as and care about how we act towards ourselves. We need the courage, to love ourselves -- even if we're messy. 

If you want to make your change in the world, consider sharing your story with us for our #ShareYourStory Campaign, starting with our "Social Wall". Your story matters more than you know.


If you don't feel comfortable with being vocal about your story but want to confide/vent, Fearless Movement is always here for you in confidentiality.

Contact us via Instagram, Facebook, or Email below!

Instagram: @Fearlessmovement
Facebook: @FearlessmovementFM
Email: thefearlessmovement@gmail.com

Always here for you,

Ashley Kulikowski
Founder and CEO of Fearless Movement 

Comments

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