Leap Year
Leap year comes around once every four years. I see it as an extra day to get done everything. Such as, writing February's post on Fearless Movement's blog. (Sorry for not writing earlier, this month has been crazy.)
Many of us will spend this day as a regular ordinary day. I'm choosing to do otherwise. Today is not an ordinary day. It's a day that will not come again within the next four years. So how will I spend it?
Well, I will be going to work like I do every other day. I will be doing homework, and I most likely will be drinking coffee. So to the world, it seems that I am spending this day just as I would have any other Monday. Although I know I am not spending it as I would have yesterday or tomorrow. I'm making the choice to come clean about my struggles, my bitterness, my sadness, and all that I hide everyday. I tend to try to ignore all of that and only act on the positive aspects in my life. I am an optimist so I try to only show everyone that side of me. I have realized these past two months, that I cannot just show that side. I need to keep being vulnerable with my readers and those I encounter everyday. If not, mental breakdowns will happen. Fear will take place. Depression will try to overcome me once again. Which those three have already taken place in my life this past week by hiding myself from the world.
This past week has been an extremely hard week for many in New Jersey and in all of the lives Cara McCollum has touched. This sweet, intelligent and beautiful young lady passed from a tragic car accident. Our hearts are in the healing process but it is sure indeed, something we are all battling. I let out my feelings the day the news broke of her passing but that's it. I decided I was going to trust God on what has happened. Even though I decided that, it doesn't mean I shouldn't grieve.
Following that, we ran out of the vitamins that counter act my Epilepsy medication side effects which are depression and anxiety. I also tried hiding that until I was able to pick up those vitamins and trust that God would help me in the process of getting them. Even though I decided to trust Him, doesn't mean I should have fought against what my heart and head was battling.
On top of those two hardships I had loads and loads of homework that were due within the next couple days. I had no clue how I was going to finish it all by the deadlines. I hid all of this from my friends and family. Then, this little battle broke the camels back.
I had a mental breakdown in a class I was teaching at the school I work at. I believed, in no way should a teacher ever cry in front of her students. But I did. I lost it completely and I had to have my supervisor cover my class for me while I went to get myself together in the bathroom. At that moment I realized it all. Your friends are meant to be there to help you in time of need and this is when I needed them. Your friends are not people that shouldn't see you sad or broken. They are the ones to help you cope with loss; to help you rise up from your hardships such as depression, and to help you with time management.
Some may say, "You trusted God and you had a mental break down. That doesn't make sense." Although, it does. I may have said I trusted God but if I truly did at that moment, I would've at least cried out to him during this time and I didn't. If I did cry out to him, he would've helped me. He would've showed me the way of coping with this all. I would've realized sooner that I need to vent to my family, friends and boyfriend so that I wouldn't have had this break down. That's all God wants from us; to cry out in time of trouble, and he will deliver us. (Revelation 21:4)
https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Revelation+21%3A4&version=ESV
There are five things to learn from this post.
1. Grieving is okay and feeling sad or frustrated when hardships come your way is okay. You need to let those emotions out or you will be overwhelmed and that will eventually haunt you later on.
2.When you say you trust God, actually trust him. Cry out to him with your troubles. Lay them at His lap and I promise He will show you the way. (As he showed me, just a little later then expected because I was too stubborn to truly trust Him.)
3. Your friends are here to help you, not to judge you. If it is any different, then they are not your friends. I ended up venting to both my boyfriend and best friend. My boyfriend went out right away without me knowing and bought my vitamin B to help with my side effects I was encountering from my Epilepsy medication. My best friend, told me to go straight to Jesus and I did.
4. Don't spend your life like every other ordinary day. When I say that I mean to be completely open and honest with yourself and others as I have this leap day. I will not do that once out of every four years. But I am doing it today, and If I need to tomorrow, I will then as well.
5. Share your struggles with others, share your weaknesses. Remember your weakness, could be someone else's strength to get them through their day. Be vulnerable and #befearless.
If you would ever like to share your story with Fearless Movement in confidence, please email us: thefearlessmovement@gmail.com
Your struggles matter and you matter.
I had a mental breakdown in a class I was teaching at the school I work at. I believed, in no way should a teacher ever cry in front of her students. But I did. I lost it completely and I had to have my supervisor cover my class for me while I went to get myself together in the bathroom. At that moment I realized it all. Your friends are meant to be there to help you in time of need and this is when I needed them. Your friends are not people that shouldn't see you sad or broken. They are the ones to help you cope with loss; to help you rise up from your hardships such as depression, and to help you with time management.
Some may say, "You trusted God and you had a mental break down. That doesn't make sense." Although, it does. I may have said I trusted God but if I truly did at that moment, I would've at least cried out to him during this time and I didn't. If I did cry out to him, he would've helped me. He would've showed me the way of coping with this all. I would've realized sooner that I need to vent to my family, friends and boyfriend so that I wouldn't have had this break down. That's all God wants from us; to cry out in time of trouble, and he will deliver us. (Revelation 21:4)
https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Revelation+21%3A4&version=ESV
There are five things to learn from this post.
1. Grieving is okay and feeling sad or frustrated when hardships come your way is okay. You need to let those emotions out or you will be overwhelmed and that will eventually haunt you later on.
2.When you say you trust God, actually trust him. Cry out to him with your troubles. Lay them at His lap and I promise He will show you the way. (As he showed me, just a little later then expected because I was too stubborn to truly trust Him.)
3. Your friends are here to help you, not to judge you. If it is any different, then they are not your friends. I ended up venting to both my boyfriend and best friend. My boyfriend went out right away without me knowing and bought my vitamin B to help with my side effects I was encountering from my Epilepsy medication. My best friend, told me to go straight to Jesus and I did.
4. Don't spend your life like every other ordinary day. When I say that I mean to be completely open and honest with yourself and others as I have this leap day. I will not do that once out of every four years. But I am doing it today, and If I need to tomorrow, I will then as well.
5. Share your struggles with others, share your weaknesses. Remember your weakness, could be someone else's strength to get them through their day. Be vulnerable and #befearless.
If you would ever like to share your story with Fearless Movement in confidence, please email us: thefearlessmovement@gmail.com
Your struggles matter and you matter.
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