Wins and Losses
Hi readers! I wanted to shine a light on something I've learned through out this year and its all about the wins of life, and certainly the losses.
The losses sure do stink, right? It's so hard to overcome them and get back up on our feet. The losses range from losing a friend because they're not who you thought they were, being diagnosed with an illness, having depression and anxiety, or losing what you only dreamed of since you were 6.
Hey, I can relate to all of them. Friends who have came and went - Which left me heart broken because I'm very emotional - but even if you're not.. let's face it, its HARD. Being diagnosed with Epilepsy put a major toll on my life for awhile, and hey it still does. Did I mention I can't drive and I'm probably the most independent person you'll ever meet so I feel that my independence has been taken away from me and that's the worst thing that could ever happen. I also have to be really careful with my health sometimes... because think about it, waking up from a seizure with people surrounding you and you're soaked from peeing yourself, has to be thee most embarrassing thing that could ever happen. Yes I actually pee myself sometimes. Haha, but on a serious note, not knowing if I could have a seizure at any point in time and be terminally ill or pass from one, is a pretty big loss in life. Oh and over 17 million in the US alone, battle or have battled depression and anxiety and honestly, not knowing whether you can make it through out the day at school without bursting in to tears at any point in time "just because" stinks. a lot. Last - losing while pursuing a dream is pretty tough. If you have one dream that you visioned inside of your head since only God knows when... a dream that you can't imagine not accomplishing one day.. losing it is like losing who you are. My dream since I was a little girl was to win a Miss America Local to go to Miss New Jersey that year, my first year in the MAO. It broke me when the last local happened, I was sick nonetheless, and did not win. I did not go to Miss New Jersey. I was crushed. I thought this might be it for me. I don't know if I can compete again. I also had a huge loss during a pageant last year. I had a seizure, and could not compete that night. Again, I thought I can't compete anymore. I could have one at any point in time. I wanted to crawl back in my room, cry and never come out again. (Which is what I did to be honest for a couple days)
Hey. Yes, you. Can you relate to these losses?
Whether you were carried off the soccer field from a broken leg, a seizure, or lost a job you loved, or didn't get the job of your dreams, depressed to the point where you can't stop binging netflix series and eating chocolate and crying, diagnosed with a life threatening illness or an illness that took the life out of you... THESE ARE ONLY LOSSES IF YOU SAY THEY ARE.
I've learned so much this year through battling all of these trials. There is so much that I won from these losses. Sounds weird right? Yeah, I thought so too. But seriously.
I can't tell you how dependent I was on people until I lost a friend. That showed me, that I don't need anyone who doesn't need me. It showed me to stop relying on others for happiness, and rely on the one who gives you that. God's my best friend, and if he isn't yours, I suggest you'd check out his word because he loves you.. so so so much. But hey, if you're not too happy with God, then I'm not judging. I can't tell you how to live your life and who to love. But I sure know that we are what we create. Create your own dang happiness.
When I was diagnosed with Epilepsy, my whole life literally came crashing down. I walked away like the doctor told me my death date and it was quickly approaching. The doctor couldn't tell me my death date because he didn't know, but he knew that Epilepsy could take my life if we didn't start treatment and medication. Hey, in reality, it still could take my life. BUT I won so much from being diagnosed with Epilepsy. I get to look back on the times where I had a seizure and woke up afterwards and said some pretty funny, crazy things. Haha, no on a serious note, once I knew how to overcome my depression and anxiety, I had a story to tell. A story of hope, how I'm STILL HERE, still living and now run a non-profit that is GOING TO FIND A CURE. But I can't count how many people I've talked too in the passed two years, maybe thousands, about how they can live fearlessly just like I have. I am able to relate to them, those of all ages and thats what means the most. It doesn't matter what illness they were diagnosed with, what hardship they were facing, REGARDLESS of their circumstances, they could drop fear, and gain courage. That is my heart and soul now. Helping those live a fearless, successful, fulfilling life. It gave me courage to fight back, and hey thats one heck of a win.
Battling depression and anxiety wasn't a loss. It may have been at the time, but now I know how strong I am and capable of fighting back against anything life throws my way. So if you're facing that too right now, KNOW your strength and speak up to someone like I did. The guidance goes a long way.
Last is losing your dream. Like I said, whether it's sports related, job related, etc. I truly thought I lost my dream when I had a seizure at a pageant last year.. and then when I gained the courage to compete again, I ended up not making it to the Miss New Jersey stage that year. It was whirlwind of emotions for me. Boy was that heart breaking. I made so many friends who were title holders, sharing the same dream I had, and they were on that stage without me... but hey, I was in that audience rooting them on. That's when I realized it was a win. I was not only able to root on my friends like I would want others to do for me when I compete for the job of my dreams, but I also had the chance to send them "Be Fearless" packages. In those packages were Fearless Movement shirts, fear journals (where they write down what they're fearing and why they should drop it - a tactic I use to help others acknowledge their fear and its power) and fun MAO prints I made! It was such an honor to see my girls kill it. Yes I wish I was with them, but it was a WIN because when I watched them on that stage, I thought I will be there too someday. I looked up to my friends, I thought wow they're awesome promoting their platforms and gaining scholarship to further their education. They showed me perseverance and determination. Then I thought about how much the Miss America Organization has helped me further my education through winning scholarships and also promoting my platform "Fearless Movement - Epilepsy Awareness". This organization spreads hope to those across this country and even world through the Children's Miracle Network Hospitals and through the young ladies platforms who compete for titles! It's amazing and what I have learned from this organization will forever help me, inspire me, and show me that having the opportunity to compete in this organization alone, was most certainly a win.
So for those who could relate tonight, know that theres a light at the end of the tunnel. Trust in the one who gave you this life of yours, create your own happiness, and realize that every loss is most certainly a win. Look for it.
If you need anyone to talk to, everything is kept confidential - Please contact thefearlessmovement@gmail.com.
Instagram :@fearlessmovement Twitter: @DROPFEAR_ Facebook: @FearlessMovementFM
Stay Fearless,
Xoxo,
Ashley Kulikowski
Founder and CEO of Fearless Movement
The losses sure do stink, right? It's so hard to overcome them and get back up on our feet. The losses range from losing a friend because they're not who you thought they were, being diagnosed with an illness, having depression and anxiety, or losing what you only dreamed of since you were 6.
Hey, I can relate to all of them. Friends who have came and went - Which left me heart broken because I'm very emotional - but even if you're not.. let's face it, its HARD. Being diagnosed with Epilepsy put a major toll on my life for awhile, and hey it still does. Did I mention I can't drive and I'm probably the most independent person you'll ever meet so I feel that my independence has been taken away from me and that's the worst thing that could ever happen. I also have to be really careful with my health sometimes... because think about it, waking up from a seizure with people surrounding you and you're soaked from peeing yourself, has to be thee most embarrassing thing that could ever happen. Yes I actually pee myself sometimes. Haha, but on a serious note, not knowing if I could have a seizure at any point in time and be terminally ill or pass from one, is a pretty big loss in life. Oh and over 17 million in the US alone, battle or have battled depression and anxiety and honestly, not knowing whether you can make it through out the day at school without bursting in to tears at any point in time "just because" stinks. a lot. Last - losing while pursuing a dream is pretty tough. If you have one dream that you visioned inside of your head since only God knows when... a dream that you can't imagine not accomplishing one day.. losing it is like losing who you are. My dream since I was a little girl was to win a Miss America Local to go to Miss New Jersey that year, my first year in the MAO. It broke me when the last local happened, I was sick nonetheless, and did not win. I did not go to Miss New Jersey. I was crushed. I thought this might be it for me. I don't know if I can compete again. I also had a huge loss during a pageant last year. I had a seizure, and could not compete that night. Again, I thought I can't compete anymore. I could have one at any point in time. I wanted to crawl back in my room, cry and never come out again. (Which is what I did to be honest for a couple days)
Hey. Yes, you. Can you relate to these losses?
Whether you were carried off the soccer field from a broken leg, a seizure, or lost a job you loved, or didn't get the job of your dreams, depressed to the point where you can't stop binging netflix series and eating chocolate and crying, diagnosed with a life threatening illness or an illness that took the life out of you... THESE ARE ONLY LOSSES IF YOU SAY THEY ARE.
I've learned so much this year through battling all of these trials. There is so much that I won from these losses. Sounds weird right? Yeah, I thought so too. But seriously.
I can't tell you how dependent I was on people until I lost a friend. That showed me, that I don't need anyone who doesn't need me. It showed me to stop relying on others for happiness, and rely on the one who gives you that. God's my best friend, and if he isn't yours, I suggest you'd check out his word because he loves you.. so so so much. But hey, if you're not too happy with God, then I'm not judging. I can't tell you how to live your life and who to love. But I sure know that we are what we create. Create your own dang happiness.When I was diagnosed with Epilepsy, my whole life literally came crashing down. I walked away like the doctor told me my death date and it was quickly approaching. The doctor couldn't tell me my death date because he didn't know, but he knew that Epilepsy could take my life if we didn't start treatment and medication. Hey, in reality, it still could take my life. BUT I won so much from being diagnosed with Epilepsy. I get to look back on the times where I had a seizure and woke up afterwards and said some pretty funny, crazy things. Haha, no on a serious note, once I knew how to overcome my depression and anxiety, I had a story to tell. A story of hope, how I'm STILL HERE, still living and now run a non-profit that is GOING TO FIND A CURE. But I can't count how many people I've talked too in the passed two years, maybe thousands, about how they can live fearlessly just like I have. I am able to relate to them, those of all ages and thats what means the most. It doesn't matter what illness they were diagnosed with, what hardship they were facing, REGARDLESS of their circumstances, they could drop fear, and gain courage. That is my heart and soul now. Helping those live a fearless, successful, fulfilling life. It gave me courage to fight back, and hey thats one heck of a win.
Battling depression and anxiety wasn't a loss. It may have been at the time, but now I know how strong I am and capable of fighting back against anything life throws my way. So if you're facing that too right now, KNOW your strength and speak up to someone like I did. The guidance goes a long way.
So for those who could relate tonight, know that theres a light at the end of the tunnel. Trust in the one who gave you this life of yours, create your own happiness, and realize that every loss is most certainly a win. Look for it.
If you need anyone to talk to, everything is kept confidential - Please contact thefearlessmovement@gmail.com.
Stay Fearless,
Xoxo,
Ashley Kulikowski
Founder and CEO of Fearless Movement
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